The picture accompanying this week’s post is of my first tattoo. I was in my mid to late 50s when I got this tattoo. The semicolon was from hearing about Project Semicolon, which was founded in 2013 to raise awareness of and support for those struggling with suicidal thoughts, depression, and mental issues. Grammatically, a semicolon indicates that a sentence is not finished, there is more to come. Just so, the semicolon concept, applied to people struggling with the aforementioned things, is saying, “These things do not have to mark the final word. There can still be good in your life.”
The rainbow part of my tattoo was in response to an event that had just recently occurred in my life that had a major transforming effect. My wife and I, along with two of my children, were sitting around a firepit. After 5 or 6 beers each one of my children found the courage to admit that he was gay. Shortly after this revelation, my other child with us revealed that they were having major gender identity issues. My heart was hurting so bad for this child as I heard them talk of how, even as a young child, they would go to bed at night hoping with everything in them they would wake up as the gender other than their birth assigned one. The pain I heard in their voice cut me to my core. I had the tattoo inked over the semicolon (the LGBTQ+ community, especially younger ones, struggle more than a lot of others with depression and thoughts of suicide) to show that, even though I was and had been a Southern Baptist Pastor for decades, I fully affirmed and allied myself with them. This choice and change of perspective on my part eventually led to my leaving the ministry and turning away from the church.
I have never personally been diagnosed with depression. But I have long struggled to keep it from dragging me into a deep, dark, bottomless pit. I have never seriously considered suicide. But there have been countless nights that I have gone to sleep hoping I would not wake up the next morning.
I cannot fully address a subject here that libraries are not big enough to hold all the information (and misinformation) that has been written to address.
If you are reading this and struggle with these issues, my heart aches for your pain. Please, please, please seek help to win your struggle. There are national hotlines to help you. (NOTE: Just yesterday, July 16, the Suicide Prevention Hotline was simplified. Just dial 988.) If you are reading this it means you have access to a tool capable of bringing a tremendous amount of understanding and help your way. If you are thinking you just want to end it all, I know there is a great chance that the only reason you are thinking this is because you desperately want a change in your life and you think there is no other change possible for you except suicide. But death is not really what you want, you have just lost hope that there is any other way to end the pain. Please reach out and give it one more try. I know you are tired to the point of exhaustion. But there are people who care. Your life can still be filled with meaning. You ARE a wonderful creation. Please don’t bring that creation to an end.
If you are someone who is dealing with a person struggling with these issues and you very much want to help them, please do not EVER say to them, “You just need to get over it,” and/or, “You know, there are a lot of others who have it a lot worse than you do.” These statements will never help. They will only cause more problems. If they could “just get over it” they would have done so long ago. Knowing there are others worse off than them does not lessen the pain and helplessness they are feeling. Saying these things to them will, in all likelihood, cause them to cut themselves off even more from those who can help. It can easily make them feel even worse about themselves. Spend some time researching things you can do that will actually have a chance of helping. Listen to them with your heart.
Think about it.
You are loved. Peace.
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