This week’s post will be a bit out of the ordinary. Two weeks ago I requested prayers, meditations, and positive thoughts for a possible medical situation that I might have to deal with. In a nutshell I had gone to the VA urgent care on December 23 for a suspected bout of diverticulitis. They did a CT scan that showed this was not the case. However, the doctor noticed a mass that caused her concern. She wanted a biopsy done as quick as it could be scheduled. The doctor doing the biopsy suspected that he was going to find the mass to be lymphoma.
As Charles Dickens wrote in “A Tale of Two Cities”, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I experienced fear as I have never known. My mind had immediately gone to the darkest place imaginable. This was certainly the worst of times.
However, it was during the period prior to getting the results of the biopsy that I also experienced a time of intense joy such as I have never experienced before in my life. It made no sense and was totally unexpected.
I believe this joy was due in a large part to reading that I had been doing prior to that December day. The book I had been reading was “Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child” by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn. I cannot recommend this book too highly. It had already put me onto a path of self examination.
Then came this event. I took an intense look inside of myself and discovered residual anger, resentment, and unforgiveness toward people, living and dead, on a level that I had not known was in me. I began to deal with and let go of these negative things like I had never done before. I believe this was the reason for that time of intense joy. I began to experience peace like I had never known. While I wanted to get a good report and live, I was also fully prepared to die.
The result came back benign. While the relief was overwhelming, I was immediately seized by the hope that I would never lose the intensity for seeking the things that are truly important. Never let a kind word go unsaid. Tell those who are important to you how much you love and appreciate them often.
Most importantly for me as the author of this post, I am more determined than ever to preach the priority of living a life marked by loving kindness, forgiveness, and understanding of others. I am absolutely convinced that every time we fail to love, forgive, or be understanding of someone else, we fail to give those things to ourselves. I believe this is true the most when we withhold those things from those people in our lives who deserve them the least. We are all broken, hurting people. The degree to which we are willing to love others will determine the degree to which we will help heal the brokenness of the world and the hurt in our own spirits.
You ARE loved. Never doubt that. Let it inspire you to love yourself and others as never before.
Thank you to everyone who offered prayers, meditations, and positive thoughts on my behalf. I love you. I believe in you.
Peace!
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