It is impossible to go through life without experiencing suffering and frustration. But what if a lot of it is suffering and frustration that we inflict on ourselves?
How many times have we been in a situation where someone did something that caused us pain, frustration, and/or anger? They were rude, thoughtless, mean, or insensitive. Their words or actions caused an intense negative experience for us. What they did and the hurt, anger, or frustration that it inflicted upon us was something that we had no control over. But, what did we do following that time?
I know that in my own life there have been many times that things such as this have happened to me. The arrow of the initial negative event was one that I could not avoid. But, sadly, many hurtful arrows struck me following the first one that I inflicted upon myself. I mulled the event over and over and over in my mind. I repeatedly played the scenario out in my head thinking of things that I should have said or done to retaliate toward the person who caused my pain or anger. My desire for fairness or revenge did not effect the perpetrator of my pain in any way. But it did keep the pain raw and real in my own life.
Are there not times that I treat people in ways that I shouldn’t that are not a true reflection of who I normally am?
Perhaps the person who hurt me was someone who needed to make changes in how they interact with those around them. But, the reality is that the way I play the negative event over and over in my mind has no effect whatsoever except to keep the pain real and festering in my own life.
Also, it is entirely possible that the action of that person was accidental or not typical of how they normally interact with people. I write a narrative in my mind as to how they are that may not reflect the reality of who they actually are at all. Are there not times that I treat people in ways that I shouldn’t that are not a true reflection of who I normally am?
Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience. None of us can avoid it. But, I would suggest that there is much of it we can avoid by choosing not to dwell on the negative things that happen to us.
Think about it.
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