There is a person I have come to regard with the utmost respect and admiration in the past ten or fifteen years. He was a well-known host of a Public Television show. The person I am speaking of is Fred Rogers of “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” fame. A few years ago a movie was released called “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” Tom Hanks portrayed Mr. Rogers. The basic premise of the movie was loosely based on an incident that occurred in Mr. Rogers’ life. I believe Tom Hanks and the writers of the script did an excellent job of capturing the essence of this amazing person.
There was one scene from the movie that made an impact on me. In particular, there was one line delivered by Hanks as Mr. Rogers from that scene that etched itself permanently into my psyche. The scene is set in the home of a terminally ill person with his family all around him. The person makes a reference to the fact that he is not expecting to live more than a few months. There is a very awkward silence that follows his remark. The silence is finally broken by Hanks/Rogers. He says, “You know, if you can mention it, you can manage it.”
Please take a moment to let that phrase sink deeply into your soul as it has mine.
How many times do you, like me, allow negative stuff in our lives to have painful power over us by our refusal to bring it out into the open? Perhaps it is something wrong in a relationship, the real possibility that we might have a major debilitating illness, or impending death. Whatever this major negative thing might be, we choose to deal with it by refusing to mention it. And, in so doing, we do not manage it.
Our silence does not make the issue go away. It only gives it more power over us. Silence keeps it slinking around in our minds stealing our peace and increasing our unease. When we mention it we bring it out into the open. It does not make it go away. However, it enables us to develop strategies to manage it and make the best choices for dealing with painful realities. Mentioning it restricts its power and makes it more manageable.
If we can mention it, we can manage it.
Think about it.
You are loved. Peace.
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