None of us are perfect. It does not take me a long time to recall times when the thoughtless or deliberate unkind actions of others caused me discomfort, frustration, and/or physical pain. Of course, with only a few Nano seconds or so spent looking at this idea from another perspective and I can easily recall those times when my words and actions have inflicted these things upon others.
What can we do to bring peace and healing to all of these times of incoming and outgoing negativity? After all, promoting peace and healing is a top tier priority propelling me to produce these posts.
I can sum up the way to do this in one word – forgiveness. Without real forgiveness healing and peace are only vague, vaporous puffs of smoke that quickly dissipate in the slightest breeze of real life. I am speaking of our need to forgive others, and, possibly harder, forgive ourselves.
There are a couple of reasons I most often hear given for our unwillingness to forgive those who have hurt us in one way or another. One reason goes something like this. “But you just don’t know how deeply they hurt me.” And the truth is, no I don’t. But I do know that your failure to forgive is increasing your pain.
The other reason generally uses the following approach. “I might consider forgiving them but only if they ask me for it. After all, they have to know that they have done wrong and be truly sorry for it.”
This sounds reasonable on the surface. However, it fails to recognize that forgiveness is primarily about healing and easing the pain in the one who has had unkindness inflicted upon them. My failure to forgive absolutely assures multiplied pain and negative consequences to myself.
Yes, in an oblique way, my inability or unwillingness to forgive does bring hurt to that person. In fact, it brings hurt to everyone. Anytime we radiate negative energy (which is what failing to forgive does) it has a universal negative effect.
However, failure to forgive has the most drastic negative effect upon the one who is unforgiving. Failure to forgive reduces my ability to give love to the good people in my life that I care deeply for. It reduces my ability to experience joy and happiness in my own being. These are things on an emotional level that unforgiveness negatively impacts. But there is also growing empirical evidence that an unforgiving spirit has definite negative repercussion's on our physical wellbeing also.
Failure to forgive always means we are inflicting more hurt on ourselves. I would even suggest that it increases our inability to forgive ourselves when we become aware of those times that we are responsible for inflicting pain on others.
Please stop saying that you can’t or won’t forgive someone who has hurt you. Do yourself a favor. Please stop hurting yourself. Though it may be a difficult and prolonged process, you can do it. This course of action is the only way to reduce the mental, emotional, and physical damage you are doing to yourself through holding onto your unforgiveness.
Think about it.
You are loved. Peace.
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